Parenting With Love And Logic Author: Foster Cline | Language: English | ISBN:
1576839540 | Format: PDF
Parenting With Love And Logic Description
From the Back Cover
"This is as close to an owner's manual for parents that you will find. Now, parents can embrace mistakes as wonderful learning opportunities to raise respectful, responsible, and caring children." --Gloria Sherman, M.A., LPC, Counselor Zemmer Jr. High, Lapeer, Michigan "Parenting with Love & Logic is an essential component for our students, parents, and teachers. For the last fourteen years, thousands of families in our school district have been positively impacted by Love & Logic principles." --Leonard R. Rezmierski, Ph.D., Superintendent, Northville Public Schools "Parenting with Love and Logic is a MUST for every parent in America! This is the most useful book I've ever read. This stuff really works! My kids use this stuff on me, their peers, and their teachers! That's how I know it really works!" --Lorynda Sampson, Colorado Teacher of the Year, 2003 "For almost twenty years, I have been delighted to share the powerful, yet simple wisdom of Jim Fay and Foster Cline with my counseling clients. The principles in Parenting with Love and Logic are practical, proven techniques that keep parents on track to raising responsible, loving, confident children." --Carol R. Cole, Ph.D., LMFT "Parenting with Love and Logic is a terrific book for parents that provide important concepts and practical solutions to help children become emotionally, socially, and morally healthy." --Terry M. Levy, Ph.D, codirector Evergreen Psychotherapy Center, Coauthor Attachment, Trauma and Healing "This book gives parents the tools to build a lifelong relationship based on respect, empathy, appreciation, and love. Parenting with Love and Logic teaches kids how to think and problem-solve from a very young age." --Stephanie Bryan, Clinical Social Worker and Parent Coach, www.REALparenting.net "This hilariously entertaining guidebook to working with children contains practical and easy-to-apply principles for both the home and the classroom." --Larry Anderson, Parent and Educator
About the Author
FOSTER W. CLINE, M.D. is an internationally recognized psychiatrist. He is a consultant to mental health organizations, parents groups, and schools across North America. He specialized in working with difficult children.
JIM FAY has thirty-one years on experience as an educator ans school principal. He is recognized as one of America's top educational consultants ans has won many awards in the educational field. He successfully guided his three children through their childhood and teen years using love and logic.
- Hardcover: 272 pages
- Publisher: NavPress Publishing; Rev Upd edition (April 19, 2006)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1576839540
- ISBN-13: 978-1576839546
- Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 1.1 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
I borrowed this book from the library and have just finished reading part one. I will admit first that I am the product of what the authors call "helicopters," so some of the ideas in the book are unusual to me.
In general, I like the idea of natural consequences, enforcable choices, and encouraging children to think through their problems. I can see myself using these principles with my own daughter, but not always the way the authors do it. Some of the sample dialogues in the book are reasonable but many do not sound as genuine and empathetic as the authors imply.
Some of the examples in the book and in the "pearls" are making me very upset. In one case, a child has been neglecting her dog by not feeding it, so the mom just gives it away with no warning and without confronting the girl about it. The authors admit this is a really tough approach but that's how kids learn that unless you take care of your health and your animals serious illness or death can result. Now this sounds crazy to me. In our home, we think of pets as a family responsibility, so that might be one difference. Still, wouldn't it teach the girl more about empathy to sit her down and say "you can either come up with a schedule and feed the dog or we are giving it away, you have one week to improve." Why do these authors feel that giving someone a second chance is a bad thing? It seems this might teach her "if I don't fulfill my responsiblity, someone else will take care of it for me."
Another example is a mom who asked her son to do something and he mouths off and refuses. So the next day when he asks for a ride she says, yesterday you showed me that asking nicely can be ignored, so I'm not going to drive you to your activity, even though you asked nicely.
Many of the basic premises of this book are based in wisdom and truth. I agree with the authors that it is important for parents to raise responsible children; that it is critical for children to be allowed to learn from their mistakes; that parents should not rescue children from the consequences of their behavior; that children need the opportunity to practice decision-making in order to become responsible; that children must be presented with circumstances that cause them to reflect and internalize the choices they are making rather than have everything imposed on them externally. I also agree with the authors that parents' words are useless when not accompanied by parallel actions that demonstrate that what is said is meant, and that effective parents remain calm and not display frustration when addressing their kids.
All of these truths need to be built intentionally into effective parenting.
However, allowing children to experience natural consequences and learn from their own mistakes is simply one aspect of effective parenting. It is not the whole thing. This book advocates a comprehensive parenting philosophy built upon the effort to make all learning experiences relate to natural consequences. This is neither practical nor appropriate.
The authors assume, for instance, that basically any direct instruction from a parent to a child will be less effective than allowing the child to learn the information himself through experience. Children need parents to explain life to them, to help them unpack their mistakes, and to communicate clearly with them. Much of this can and should be done through direct, clear, respectful communication between child and parent.
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