Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs Author: | Language: English | ISBN:
B0028MK82S | Format: EPUB
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs Description
Successful couples know that harmony and happiness in marriage are not achieved by love alone. There is the other side of the Ephesians 5:33 equation - respect. Yes, a wife needs love. But a husband needs respect. Based on extensive biblical and scientific research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs reveals the secret to couples meeting each other's deepest needs: Without love she reacts without respect, and without respect he reacts without love and a destructive, vicious cycle begins.
Love and Respect is groundbreaking audio which offers much-needed help to husbands and wives everywhere. It introduces the biblical teaching of unconditional respect, and that it is as powerful as unconditional love. Discover the secret revealed by God that cracks the communication code between male and female and reap the benefits of marriage as God intended.
- Audible Audio Edition
- Listening Length: 5 hours and 26 minutes
- Program Type: Audiobook
- Version: Abridged
- Publisher: Oasis Audio
- Audible.com Release Date: May 1, 2009
- Language: English
- ASIN: B0028MK82S
I thought the principal behind the book was something that will help virtually every married couple. My husband and I laughed at sections b/c we found some of the anecdotes so spot on to our daily lives. Eggerichs clearly explained to us why we keep going through the "Crazy Cycle." The Respect/Love needs in men/women is potentially a marriage saver or breaker.
I have 2 constructive criticisms of the book. I still recommend this book, however I do give these caveats:
1. This book talks as if men know how to love their wives. There may be a million books out there on how to do it, but we didn't have those. My husband and I were reading this one. And I grew weary of hearing how women needed to learn to respect their husbands. Frankly, I grasped the principal within the first few pages. After a few chapters, I felt like rolling my eyes a little. Because he paid so little attention to talking about how men should love their wives, it felt like that part was very trivialized. I understand that was not the point, however, the title was "Love & Respect", not just "Respect."
2. I would have liked more tangible examples of exactly what it means to "Respect" my husband. I want to do it. And he made it clear that "nagging, complaining, and whining" at him were disrespectful. But I need more examples. What are the active things I can do? Is it disrespectful to remind my husband to take the garbage out the night before? If it is, then how do I make sure the task gets done w/out reminding him? It isn't an issue of control, but I have to get the kids out the door in the morning and I need help and I need him to do this one thing. Make sense? I need to know how to have those discussions w/out disrespecing him.
The good:
1) I like the connection between love and respect. Every time he says husbands need respect and wives need love, you have to translate that mentally into *both* husbands *and* wives need love *and* respect, but the basic premise is a good one -- the Christian understanding of love indicates an attitude of honoring, respecting, and blessing the other person.
2) The crazy cycle and reward cycle. This is one of the most important things most couples could learn. Our behaviors are self-reinforcing and good things to lead to more good things in a cycle. Likewise, bad things often lead to more bad things. The good news is that we serve a God of redemption and just as the gospel message teaches us that Christ breaks us out of a cycle of sin, God can redeem broken marriages and break them out of destructive cycles.
3) For *some* couples, a disrespectful attitude toward the husband or an unloving attitude toward the wife *is* the problem. For those relationships, I imagine they would benefit greatly from this book.
The not-so-good:
1) As mentioned by several reviewers already, the book is incredibly sexist. I started making a `W' in the margins when Dr. Eggerichs blamed the wife for the problem and a `H' when he blamed the husband. Skimming back through, it's about 90% W's. Just about any time he says something negative about the husband, you are almost guaranteed to get a follow-up sentence about how his wife's pettiness or nagging or belittling comments or criticizing or bitterness or whatever was really the root cause of the husband's behavior.
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